50 CC's Of Raw Power

Pictured is the motorbike I'm renting on Ios. Okay, so it's not a "HOG" (an acronym for Harley Owner's Club or Harley Original Gangster).  But remember ladies, there's a saying which goes like this: "The size of a man's apparatus is inversely related to the size of his motorcycle, flat-screen television, and car engine." Did I mention I use a Dick Tracy style wrist watch as my TV and drive a Volkswagen Bus? By contrast, my buddy Peter Sitz owns a 60-inch plasma a drives a souped up Chevy Camaro! :-)

Ios Island, Greece: Party Central

Ios is a very beautiful place with perfect weather, much like San Diego. It is off-season now and very quiet. There are only about 1,800 year-round residents on the island. During the height of the tourist season (June - August) the population jumps to 20,000. It fills up with younger folks (twenties and thirties) who party in the bars until dawn. The locals tell me in the main village there are approximately 200 bars in an area the size of about three or four city blocks. You don't need a car and can just stumble back to your hotel room. The bar business must be competitive because I saw signs which advertise a free tee shirt  with the purchase of seven shots of liquor. This would be a tee shirt windfall for certain friends and relatives of mine who shall remain nameless. You know who you are! :-)

Don't Hold Back. Tell Me How You Really Feel.

I was in this restaurant today and some Greek guys were talking politics. Like everyone else here, they are experiencing tough economic times and are really angry. This one guy spoke really good English and told me:

"Here in Greece we have no more middle class. There are only rich people and poor people. Most people don't vote anymore because there are only two political parties and nothing ever changes. They believe what they see on the television. The television controls them. We must stop talking and do something to change. A few years ago some dissidents in Athens protested and burned down their own neighborhood. What good does that do? We need to go where the rich people and the politicians live and burn down their houses. Then they'll understand. Then things will change. We must stop talking and do something about it.  If we don't do it now, it will never happen"

Chillin' In The Cyclades

After a seven hour voyage from Athens aboard a new ship called The Blue Star Delos, I arrived on the island of Ios. This island has less tourists than some of the other Greek Islands, especially this early in the season. Here are some views from my room.

Brother Can You Spare A Dime?

Things Older Than Me

The Word On The Street

Like everywhere else in the world, the people here in Athens are really pissed off at their politicians. The word "corrupt" is always used when talking politics. Apparently, the Greek politicians accept large bribes in exchange for government contracts which are rewarded to the highest bidder rather than the lowest. The politicians are also famous for handing out government jobs to family and friends. The locals tell me their government workers are renowned for doing nothing all day and it is impossible to fire them. They then collect big pensions when they retire. All of this sounds vaguely familiar, but I can't remember where I heard it before. :-)

It's All Greek To Me

I'm now in Athens where it's sunny and warm. The weather and terrain resembles Southern California, you know, where the desert meets the ocean. Here are some photos of a sign at the airport (apparently they still use ye olde Greek alphabet), and some ancient ruins at the Acropolis, specifically, the Parthenon (temple of Athena the Virgin), and the Erechtheion (temple of Erectus caused by Athena's virginity).

My Wonderful Host

Pictured is my host, Michela Ferroni. She is a very warm and kind person. If you ever want to vacation in Tuscany, let me know and I'll give you her contact info. Also pictured are Michela's next door neighbors in the duplex, Lucca and Sonja. Last but not least is a photo of the boss of the house, "Cipollina" (little onion) the cat.

Sinful Vending Machine In Lucca

Lucca is a classy town. So, as a devout Catholic, I was shocked to see these items in a vending machine. What about the children?! If anyone out there knows what "Yummy Cum" is, please send me a private email. I'm doing research for The Vatican. Please do not post your comments online as this is a family travel blog. Thank you.
-Father Tom

A Room With A View: Massarosa, Italy

Here's where I'm staying in Tuscany. It's what we would call a duplex. My host, Michela, rents the place on the right. It's a two bedroom, two bath and is very modern and finely crafted inside. My bedroom window is in the upper right and has views of the hills and ocean. It is a very special place.

Good Duty

I am currently staying in the Tuscany hill town of Massarosa. My host has a beautiful, modest home in an upscale neighborhood with views of the ocean to the west. Just down the block is a rather large Tuscan villa, complete with manicured gardens (see photos). Local legend has it that Pauline Bonaparte, sister of Napoleon, was held prisoner in this villa by Austrian troops. They had defeated her brother and exiled him to the island of Elba. Pauline chose to live in this villa because on a clear day you can see Elba and she wanted to be near her brother. My host told me Pauline was so wealthy she would summon the local priest to the villa and had him serve Sunday Mass while she took a lavish bath. My host also said lovely Pauline slept with all of the Austrian soldiers who guarded her.

My 'Brickyard' Away From Home

As many of you know, for many years my daily haunt in San Diego was the outdoor patio at The Brickyard, a coffee shop near my condo. Well, I found my Brickyard here in the hills of Tuscany. It's called the Central Cafe and is located in the very small town of Quiesa, which is about 10 miles west of Lucca. A bunch of pensioners play cards on the patio all day long (from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m.). There were five card games going on simultaneously when I was there, three on the patio and two inside the cafe. I think the card playing is just a premise, though. Apparently, the real business of the day is to smoke, argue, and bust each other's balls. When they found out I was American, several of them started humming the tune "I'm A Yankee Doodle Dandy." It was freakin' hilarious.

How Do You Stop An Italian From Talking?...

...You tie their hands behind their back!

It's true. They talk with their hands. Pictured is a lady on the bus talking with her friends.

"Free" Is My Favorite Four Letter Word Which Begins With An "F"

The bus system in Rome is amazing - very fast and efficient. The best part is you don't have to pay the driver when you board. That would slow things down too much. When the driver pulls into a bus stop, the three large doors open, the riders pile on (and off) in under 30 seconds, and your off to the races. The pit crews at the Indy 500 should take notice.

Technically, a rider is supposed to purchase a ticket at a newsstand and have it validated by these little time stamp machines inside the bus. However, in my six visits to Rome, I have seen that happen only a few times. Allegedly, all the locals all have monthly passes. Yeah, right.  I'm also told that on occasion an inspector boards the bus to check for tickets, but I've never seen hide nor hair of one.

So, are the busses free of charge? It depends on your moral compass. As a law and order man, I always purchase a ticket. Yeah, right.

Richard Meier & The Peace Altar

Richard Meier is a noteworthy American architect. He designed the Getty Museum in Los Angeles. Here in Rome, he designed the museum which houses the Ara Pacis (Peace Altar). The altar was built for Emperor Augustus upon his return to Rome in around 10 B.C. So, we have an modern building housing an ancient artifact. There is a big controversy over the new building. The locals, and most critics, hate it because it sticks out like a sore thumb in a city known for it old-world charm.

Pizza With Lox

As you can imagine, Rome is overrun with Catholics. You often see priests and nuns walking down the street (It just occurred to me that a nun's habit is the equivalent of a Muslim burqa). They're in town to report to HQ, err, The Vatican. But did you know there is a Jewish Quarter in Rome? They call it the Jewish Ghetto. Not ghetto in the sense of a rabbi walking down the street with a boom box on his shoulder blasting  "Hava Nagila." More like ghetto in the neighborhood sense.

The ristorante in the photo serves a kosher King Saul Pizza with mozzarella and lox. For all you goyims out there, both shicksa and shegetz, lox are salmon.

Is That A Dog In Your Lap, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

This young lady was stopped at a traffic light. I noticed she was riding her Vespa with her little dog. She was also talking on her cell phone. Why not have a smoke while you're at it?

Halftime Score: Lions 10 Christians 0

Colosseo (ca. 70 - 80 AD)

Can I Have One Cappuccino And A 100 Sfogliatelle, Please?

Okay, so I was never a big coffee drinker, until now (When in Rome...). The Italians love the stuff. They dart in and out of cafes all day long. I guess the caffeine is responsible for the Roman frenetic (read: chaotic) pace. I am now officially addicted to cappuccino. So much so, I have to commit 459s to support my habit (for the lay person, 459 is the CA Penal Code section for Burglary).

The photo depicts my daily fix, along with a few "sfogliatelle," which is an Italian pastry. It's clam-shaped, has many fine layers of pastry shell, is filled with cream, and has powdered sugar on top. It was the absolute favorite dessert of my dad. He was of Sicilian descent, but the sfogliatelle is actually from Naples. This particular pastry is very hard to find in the States, outside of a few shops in New York. It's even harder to find real good ones. I must say, the ones in the photo are among the best I ever tasted. They bake them right on the premises, so they're fresh. They happen to be the miniature ones, so it's easy to eat a gazillion of them. I'm up to three a day, and will be up to a hundred if the money holds out. Looks like I may have to move up to committing 211s (Robberies) of pastry shops.

Roman Art Or Graffiti?

Tomato (pomodoro) or Pumpkin (zucca) ?

Il Gatto di Roma

Rome is fairly well known for its cats. There are many stray ones who roam around the ancient ruins like The Forum, Colosseum, etc. Local cat-lover organizations feed and protect them. However, the "gatto" pictured is not a stray cat, but rather a one per center who is owned by a resident of a tony neighborhood called "Gianicolo Carini." The hood is atop a hill and is filled with fancy villas and foreign embassies. They views are great, even when its cloudy.

My Wonderful Hosts

My very first experience with AirBnB.com has been great! I'm leasing a room from Denise and Daniel in the Portuense neighborhood of Rome. My hosts are warm, kind, and big-hearted. They are also a lot of fun! Denise is from Brazil, and her grandfather was originally from Italy (like my grandparents). She is studying to earn her M.S. in Chemistry. Daniel is from Bolivia. He is a pianist and is studying to become a symphony conductor at a prestigious music academy. They met here in Rome, fell in love, and are planning a June wedding. Oh yeah, they have two pet turtles, Peppino and Giovanni.

Ooops! A Forgotten Gem

I forgot to post this gem from Chicago O'Hare. I don't know what's worse, the lack of punctuation, or the fact someone has to take these calls.

Mexican Food

Thus far, I haven't found any decent Mexican restaurants in Rome. In fact, there are none. However, I found these bags of tortilla chips on a supermarket shelf. Check out the ethnic stereotyping. A poncho, sombrero, and a moustache? Well, I suppose in Mexico they have old Italian grandmother-types on the labels of their tomato sauce jars. Such is life...

Papal Swiss Gayards

Gee, I wonder why the Pope has young Swiss boys wearing "colorful" uniforms guarding him? Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Photos From Rome (Part 2 of ?)

Photos From Rome (Part 1 of ?)

My Nephew "The Mole"

Hot news flash from The States. My nephew, Joe Muto, has worked as an associate producer for Fox News for eight years. Specifically, he works for Bill O'Reilly, the right wing host of "The Factor." Joe is very liberal politically and found it difficult to work there. It was his first job out of college and just stuck with it, until a few days ago. He became the "Fox Mole" for the liberal website Gawker.com. He apparently leaked some video of Mitt Romney talking about his stable of horses in an off air conversation with Sean Hannity. The bad news is that Fox quickly investigated and fired Joe within 24 hours. The good news is that he was offered a job by Gawker.com

As a liberal, I am proud of him, but this should make for some fun family dynamics (read: free entertainment) as my sister and brother-in-law are Republicans! It's all good, though.

For more information, Google "The Fox Mole" or "Joe Muto."

The Flights: Jerry, Wind Gusts, & The 99%

I'm writing this from a cafe on the Campo di Fiori in Rome while eating a 7€ gelato.

While boarding the plane in San Diego, the queue was backed up onto the jet-way. The pilot, in his sixties, walked past going in the wrong direction (toward the terminal). He saw a kid in line wearing a Grateful Dead tee shirt. The pilot tells the kid, "I love them. I'm a big Deadhead. I really miss Jerry." My first thought was: Pretty cool for a pilot. My second, more fearful thought was: Holy crap! What if he's high on marijuana? Or worse, what if he just dropped some LSD? After calming down, I realized it was probably just the former (high on marijuana) and that he was probably on his way to buy a pint (gallon?) of Cherry Garcia for the trip to Chicago.

The flight from Chicago to Rome got off to a very shaky start. About halfway down the runway, a gust of wind lifted up the right side of the plane and we were on left wheels only. After a collective gasp, the pilot was able to right the aircraft and had just enough runway left to take off. Needless to say, my laundry bill will be a little higher than normal this week.

While me and the other 99%-ers were sitting in Coach, the First Class waitress, err, flight attendant, walked toward the rear of the plane to do something. Upon her return to First Class, she turned around to close the curtain which separates the cabins. Our eyes met as she closed the curtain. I could have sworn she gave me a condescending look and was thinking, "You'd be sitting up here too if you had worked harder in school!"

Pictured below is the tin sardine can, err, the Boeing 767 Chariot which carried me safely to Rome, "The Eternal City."

Good Bye Columbia Place

I moved out of my condo last Saturday, March 31st. I'm staying with a Probation crony, Peter Sitz, for a week. He has a really cool, new condo in the Barrio Logan, err, East Village area of San Diego. Pictured is the lady of the house, a five month old yellow lab named Cubby. Needless to say, Cubby and I fell in love and are planning a 2013 wedding at Dog Beach.

I'm flying to Rome on Monday morning via Chicago. Can hardly wait!

Thanks to all the fine citizens of San Diego for the wonderful send-off gatherings.